One Afternoon
by Nellen
Summary: Ochay. So, here’s a Riku and here’s a Naminé. So, they’re like bored one afternoon. Ochay? Sora and Kairi are the most retarded people ever. Naminé gets hit in the head by mutiple things. Riku is just... blah. Make sure you don’t see any mirages. Namiku.


**R**emialcsi**dd**isclaime**R**: don't be stupid.

**Y**rammu**ss**ummar**Y**: Ochay. So, here's a Riku and here's a Naminé. So, they're like bored one afternoon. Ochay? Make sure you don't see any mirages.

**E**to**nn**ot**E**: first fanfic for KH? I beat all three games…. And I'm utterly bored….. Oh! And whoever beat KH2, (don't read if you didn't) don't you think that like... the last scene is like... gay? That's what my brother and I thought. They were talking like they were gay... no hard feelings...

------------------------

She was bored.

He was bored.

They were lying around on the beach getting toasted by the sun, but you can say getting "bronzed", too.

Laughter surrounds them.

They _totally_ got pissed off. Seriously, how can you **not** get pissed off if everyone around you is having fun and you're not?

Maybe it's because they're weird. Well, let's just check the setting here.

The sun is shining, light breezes sweeps children's (Well, they're all old so that mustn't make them children.) hair, ruffles their clothes, and if guys were lucky and girls weren't, skirts would blow up. But, it's not like they get to see the "promised land". Anyhoo, there is clear blue waters (Not like the water in Port Royal. Totally trashed with cannon balls and shipwrecks and gunpowder.), white sand (It's not crack.), palm trees (The trees are dead in Halloweentown.).

So, how can you get bored?

…

**bop**

"DAMMIT, WAKKA!"

Well, everybody has their "dark" side, right? Well, not to be mean or anything. And also, adding the fact that Naminé was pissed off (Along with Riku.) didn't really save Wakka from getting a heavy beating.

"WHAT (**smack)** THE (**punch**) HELL (**kick**) IS (**pinch**) YOUR (**ear-pull**) PROBLEM (**scream-in-ear-while-pulling-hair**)!" Naminé was verbally abusing the poor… uhm… kid with an accent. Ya?

Well, this was quite a show for everybody else, who was laughing at the scene. Even Riku snorted!

"Calm down, blondie!" Wakka whimpered.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

"So feisty today, Naminé," Sora chuckled.

"Just how you like them, Sora," Kairi teased.

"Nah. I like them stupid and rich," he said sarcastically with the rolling of his eyes.

Riku got up and pulled the little girl away from the orange… haired.. kid. OHK. (Pronounced as oak.)

"Simmer down a bit, Naminé," Riku said.

"Look. I'm pissed off, bored out of my mind, hot and sweaty-"

"Don't forget sexy!" Kairi said jokingly.

"Which you are!" Sora joined in.

"Are you two any lamer than Tidus?" Namine turned around and asked them.

"I ain't lame!" Tidus defended.

"Or so you think!" Sora said slyly.

"God, you two are gay."

"Yeeeeeeep," Kairi and Sora said together.

…

"You're gay?" Selphie asked Sora.

"Yeah….." He was smiling and was trying to hide he laughter by biting his lip, along with Kairi.

"Really?"

"Yessirree, 'Phie. And I want to bang Riku."

"Ew…. I don't swing that way," Riku mumbled.

"Neither do I."

"But you just said you were gay," Selphie said.

"Ever heard of sarcasm, Selphie?" Naminé rolled her eyes. "Gosh. I wonder how I can be like, the only person with common sense."

"I have common sense, too, Naminé!" Riku exclaimed.

"If you did, then you would've asked Naminé out a loooong time ago," Kairi simply said like she was just chillin' with her peeps.

…

"I don't get it," Riku muttered.

"Me neither," Naminé scratched her head.

"And you're saying you have common sense," Sora shook his head.

"Let's just leave them, guys. No wonder they have no fun at all," Kairi told everybody.

…

The two were just left standing there, confused out of their minds instead of being bored.

…

**BAM**

"Does the world hate me a lot?" Naminé asked with her voice muffled since her face was in the sand.

"Sure. Whatever you say," Riku said while helping her up.

They looked around for the object that was thrown at Naminé. And they see:

A blitzball (Hmm. Wakka must've forgotten it.)  
A paopu fruit (Sora STILL didn't give it to Kairi?)  
A moogle

"A what?" Naminé exclaimed with gleeness. "A WHAT!"

"Huh?" Riku doesn't know about Naminé's list.

"Where is it? I'm gonna get you, my little moogle and make you mine forever!"

…

Riku blinked.

"Naminé, there is no moogle."

She looked around and saw the moogle flying over Riku's head.

"AHA!"

The moogle turned around and saw Naminé and yelped and started to fly just a tad bit faster.

"You're mine, precious!"

And with that, Naminé jumped with such great speed and agility and caught the moogle. But how did she capture it?

"My face!" Riku whined, who was on the ground, rubbing his face where Naminé stepped on for a boost to get the moogle.

"Oh hush. Without your face, I wouldn't have gotten Monty," Naminé scolded.

"It's Mog, kupo," the moogle said angrily.

"Whatever, Mogrina," Naminé lovingly stroked the moogle, which was close to her chest.

"Mogrina's my cousin!"

"Naminé… What are you doing?"

She turned around and saw Kairi with a very angry look on her face.

"Step… away… from… him…" Kairi gritted her teeth and said every word with anger in it.

"Huh? What are you talking about? This is my moogle!" Naminé turned her body to hide or protect the "moogle" from Kairi.

"He's… my… boyfriend…"

"Ew! You date moogles! I wonder what Sora is going to say about that!"

"Boy, I wish I was in Sora's place," Riku smiled. He was sitting on the sand watching the whole thing. He also could get a good view up her skirt.

"Riku!" Naminé kicked him and started stroking the "moogle". She started to stroke hair… Moogles don't have hair… do they? With spiked hair? In fact, the moogle was quite heavy.

She slowly looked down and saw in horror that Sora's face was in her chest.

"EEEH! RAPE!" She shrieked as she pushed Sora away, who landed with an "oomph" next to Riku. From where he was sitting, he also could see up her skirt, too.

"Chillax, dahlin'. You were doing all the work while I just had to hang there," Sora smirked.

"I'm so, sorry, Kairi! I didn't know!" Naminé begged for mercy. Well, not mercy.

"It's okay. But if you do it again and you're sane the next time, I'll ruin that pretty face of yours," Kairi threatened

"Okay! O… wait.. What do you mean by sane?"

**WHOOSH**

"WHOO-HOO! Alright!" Sora and Riku gave each other high fives. And laughter was heard emitted from their mouths.

"Eeh!" The girls screamed.

"Oh, come on. It's your own fault for wearing skirts," Riku chuckled.

"Tch. Whatever," Naminé snorted.

"I think they just wanted to show off their hot legs, right, Riku?" Sora turned his head towards the SHK.

"You guys are gayer than gay," Kairi said.

"Of course we're happy, Kai," Sora said.

"Yeah, you two are happy because you're close to each other," Naminé snorted again.

The boys turned there heads to see that their noses touched.

"AHH! MOLEST!" Sora shouted.

"What the frick?" Riku yelled.

It was the girls' turn to laugh.

"Well… anyways…" Sora got up from his position and dusted the sand off himself. Riku was still… sitting… on the sand.

…

With a swift movement, Kairi smacked Sora's butt.

"TAG!" Kairi squealed with delight and ran away, giggling like a little schoolgirl.

"What? Oh come on! That's not fair!" Sora yelled at her and started chasing, leaving the SHK and female BHK there.

…

Naminé moved but…

"My ass is not available for smacking," Riku snapped.

"What? I was going to sit down, but..."

"Oh… Okay…"

But she still stood there.

…

"Holy crappizles!"

Naminé stared at the frightened boy.

"What?"

"I think I see dead people!" Riku pointed at something behind Naminé.

She turned around.

"I don't see anybody dead…"

"Are you blind! OH, EHM, GEE! He's coming towards us!"

"DAH-BAH-U, TEE, EHF! Are you fridging crazy?"

"LOOK!"

Naminé looked.

…

And looked.

…

"Hey, Naminé. Hey, Riku," the "dead" person greeted.

"OH, EHM, GEE! It knows our names!" Riku yelled in horror.

"Riku… this is Jack. In that form where he turns into a scary…. Thing," Naminé explained.

"Jack? You mean Jack Skellington?"

"No… Jack Sparrow…"

"And how do you do, savvy?" Jack asked.

"Wait… I thought you were supposed to turn like that in the moonlight!"

"Iono."

"And weren't all the coins returned to the chest?

"Iono."

"And what the freezer are you doing here?"

"Iono. I just randomly come in. Don't worry, mate. You're perfectly sane, unlike this cutepoppethere."

"I am sane, too!"

"Look! A moogle!" Jack pointed towards the horizon.

"WHERE!" Naminé quickly spun herself towards the direction Jack was facing, kicking up sand into Riku's face.

"Geez! Naminé! Watch what you kick!"

"What?" Naminé kicked him.

"Nothing…" Riku clutched his shin.

"Where's that moogle?"

"There is no moogle, lassy," Jack said, and started laughing at her. "Proves the point that you're not sane!"

"Eh?"

Jack just kept on laughing and Riku was chuckling.

"GASP! A CAIT SITH! EVEN BETTER!" Naminé squealed.

"Huh?" Riku and Jack said in unison.

Naminé ran towards Cait Sith.

"Hiya, kids!" It said.

"That's no Cait Sith…" Jack muttered.

"Huh?" Naminé looked at it.

"Naminé! Get away! It's Barney!" Riku warned.

"What?" Naminé shrieked. "Oh no!"

"Hurry before it starts singing!"

"I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME!" Barney sang happily.

"Aah! My ears!" Naminé covered her ears and bent over.

"Naminé!" Riku shouted. "I'll save you!"

"Go get 'em, mate!" Jack said encouragingly, and then walked into the Realm of Daisies.

"Raargh!" Riku yelled his battle cry.

"Hiya, Riku!"

Riku poked the thing and it disappeared.

"Thank you, Riku! I've been saved!" Naminé jumped around in joy.

"Okay. We're going in the shade. I think the sun is… destroying your sanity."

---

They were **utterly** bored. Sad for them.

"Hey! Did you know that my cousin went to Norway and bought Cuban cigars there and smoked them and killed his puppy with the fumes?" Naminé started.

"Really?" Riku just said.

"Yeah! And…"

---

"She said that she was going to the park but she didn't and she went to the library instead and…"

---

"Omigosh! It was so terrible! Pink bunnies everywhere! And there was a pink sky, pink grass, pink trees, pink everything! It was ugly! So I…"

---

"Want to do it?"

"Excuse me?" Riku gasped.

"Hah! You weren't paying attention!"

"Is that so?"

"Yeah! And the trees were swaying and…"

---

"Sora said he wanted to go and swim, but he couldn't 'cause he had homework to do. But it affected the other party, which was me and Kairi, because Kairi and I couldn't see his hot bod. We were like…"

---

"I think Yuffie should like, go out with that badass. What was his name? I for-"

She got cut off by Riku's lips. Her eyes were wide, but they slowly closed, and she kissed him back. And then they started to make out.

---

After some minutes, they stopped to catch their breaths.

"So…" Naminé started. "What was that for?"

"I didn't want to hear your stupid stories and I like you so I decided to kiss you and guess what? I did! Snappizles!"

"You… like me?" Naminé asked.

"Yeah… and?"

"Wanna make out some more?"

"Sure!"

They leaned in but…

"HAH! Sora, hun, you owe me 5000 munny!"

"Aww… But you owe me 1000 munny!"

"And why is that?"

"Because you said that one day, Riku and Naminé will start to hang out, which is 1000 munny. You won that bet. I said that Riku will kiss her, which was another 1000 munny. I also said that Naminé might not kiss back, being the retard she is, which was another 1000 munny. You said that Riku will confess that he likes Naminé, 1000 munny. And you also said Naminé will ask Riku "wanna make out some more" after he confessed, another 1000. So basically, I got a sixth of the munny all together!"

"You guys are loud," Naminé said as she looked at the bush where Sora and Kairi were hiding… which was right next to Naminé and Riku.

"Oh no! They see us! Code red! Code red!" Kairi yelled.

"Abort mission! Abort mission!" Sora shouted.

Then they jumped over the bush and landed on Riku and Naminé. They got up and ran away.

"Should we get them?" Naminé asked.

"Uhm…" was Riku's reply.

"Sora! If we never make it alive, I want to tell you something!" Kairi said while running.

"What is it?" Sora panted.

"I love you!"

"I love you, too!"

"Were they kidding?" Riku asked.

"Something tells me they were, and something tells me they weren't. But they don't know that!" Naminé winked.

Riku grabbed two coconuts and gave one to Naminé. After a good few seconds, the running couple was down.

"We make a great team," Naminé smiled at Riku.

"Tch. Of course."

---

So, how can you get bored? By not making out with the person you want to bang. Or want to be your girlfriend/boyfriend. Or like. Whichever the case.

Warning: Do not get delusional. Or else you'll suffer a disease called "Mirages" like Naminé, who is suffering it, too. Symptons are probably seeing cute things like moogles, seeing things that appear to be something different, for instance, seeing a girl when it really is a boy, and rambling. Talk to yourself for a cure to this.

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ahahaha….. sad….


End file.
